3 Times

Assalamualaikum.

Salam 12 tengah malam. Sebelum tidur, nak tanya, siapa pernah baca artikel tentang 3 kali? 3 orang? Aku suka sangat dengan artikel yang housemate aku kongsikan ini, deep and meaningful. Dan aku bersetuju dengan lontaran pandangan penulis artikel itu.

Tajuk artikel itu berbunyi, "Kita Cuma Akan Jatuh Cinta Dengan 3 Orang Sepanjang Hidup Kita". Mesti kau tertanya-tanya, kenapa 3 orang? Aku pernah couple lebih dari 3 kali oii, aku pula tak pernah bercinta lagi oii. Haha.

Bagi aku artikel ini bersifat abstrak. 3 orang yang dimaksudkan di sini, aku tak ertikannya sebagai orang. Dalam pandangan aku, 3 orang itu bermakna 3 kali, 3 fasa, dalam hidup kau. Yup! It is true if we are thinking it that way. It makes whole lot of sense.

Jom baca dulu. 

We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime—Each One for a Specific Reason.

1. Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It's the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.

This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society's sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn't matter if it doesn't feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

2. The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.

Sometimes it's unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it's the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

3. And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn't seem possible. It's the kind where the connection can't be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren't any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.

Meaningful aite? Betul seperti yang penulis itu tulis, sepanjang hidup kita, kita akan lalui fasa perhubungan seperti yang tertulis. Percintaan di usia muda remaja, sangat muda. Bercinta kerana suka-suka, kerana fantasi yang kita tanam dalam kepala otak kita, cinta yang wujud kerana ikut-ikutan, kerana angan-anganan.

Bila kita matang sedikit, kita lalui fasa cinta yang kita dah cukup yakin itulah cinta yang akan kekal, tapi fasa itu sangat sukar, sangat perit, sangat sukar kita nak lalui. Fasa cinta seperti ini yang akan mendera rasa jiwa kita sebab kita yakin ianya akan ada happy ending.

Sampailah satu fasa yang kita dah cukup matang, kita tak terlalu mengejar sesuatu perhubungan, kita biarkan saja dan serah pada takdir. Kadang, ada waktu kita dah tak berharap sangat. Waktu itu kita jumpa satu lagi cinta yang nampak macam tak boleh nak percaya sebab dia datang begitu saja, senang. Sesuatu yang kau tak boleh nak zahirkan dengan kata-kata sebab kau tak sangka kau akan jumpa lagi dengan cinta.

Ianya bukan tentang kuantiti, berapa ramai orang, berapa banyak kali kau bercinta. Tapi ianya lebih pada 3 fasa yang kau lalui, yang kau timba dalam satu benda yang dinamakan perhubungan. I believe it's true. Do you?

Good night people. Take care. Assalamualaikum.