I'm Scared
Assalamualaikum. After so long of not writing anything in this, finally I got the feels and needs to write something. To let it all out. It's 12.30 in the morning. Sleepy but my fingers are actively typing, non-stop. Do you have paranoia? I never knew that I have this feeling, scared, paranoid, anxious as I am not this kind of person if you met me a few years back. I guess there are life events that could change your way of thinking, your confidence, how you carry yourself. I'm scared. I don't know why, but I hate myself for having a feeling like this. The negative thoughts always flood my mind. Heh. Lets say someone like me, and I reciprocate, the way they pursue you, you will got that negative thought like "if he can pursue you this way, he may already done it a few hundred times with other girls. If he can care for you in such a way that you may fall in love with him, he may do the same to other girl who will fall for him too." I hate t...