" Cahaya Yang Riang Gembira "

Assalamualaikum. Tahun 2020. Hampir setahun selepas entry terakhir. Hajat hati tak mahu dah menulis, tapi hati tergerak nak berkongsi pada yang masih sudi membaca. Pengalaman jika dikongsi mungkin beri manfaat pada yang memerlukan. Betul tak? Ogos 2020. Genap setahun. Setahun selepas peristiwa yang banyak mengubah kehidupan seorang yang bernama Farhana. Kahwin? Haha. Oh tidak. Alangkah indahnya kalau ianya ulangtahun perkahwinan, maklumlah kawan-kawan sebaya semua dah beranak dua tak pun tiga, kita beranak kucing sajalah. Ogos 2019. Bermulanya hidup aku dengan ubat-ubatan. Aku bersyukur, disebabkan latar belakang dunia perubatan yang aku ada, aku dapat kesan segalanya lebih awal, dan dapatkan rawatan. Semuanya bermula dengan kencing berbuih. Aku dah jadi tabiat, untuk periksa mangkuk tandas setiap kali urusan kecil atau besar. Its like a part of my own health screening. Bila mana aku mula kencing berbuih, sekali, dua kali, seminggu, aku terus tak teragak-agak untuk ke Klinik Kesihatan....

Credit to Motivationping.com I am too tired.  I am too hopeless.  I am feeling lost. I am wandering in a sea of people, trying to find answers.  Why me? Why? Why? And why?  * * * But, I am not giving up. I know I can do this.  I know I can fight this. #prayinghard 💪💪💪

Assalamualaikum. Menggigil pula rasa tangan nak menulis. Haha. Lama gila tak menulis. Entah. Tiba-tiba rasa sunyi, nak cari teman mendengar bebelan aku,  sebab banyak benda aku nak bebel, dan aku tahu tak ramai orang nak dengar, jadi aku tulis, biar blog saja yang mendengar. Hahaha. Bijak kan? Post ini agak lapuk dan mungkin dah expire date rasanya. Tapi sebab nak mengimarahkan kembali blog Cahaya Yang Riang Gembira, aku kongsikan sedikit gambar-gambar percutian ke Bandung beberapa bulan yang lalu. Sedar tak sedar, dah nak masuk tahun kedua aku bersama Malaysian Society for Quality in Health, walaupun tak semasyuk gaji kerja sebagai doktor klinikal di hospital, tapi Allah isikan bahagia dan kepuasaan aku dari segi lain. Alhamdulillah, dengan kerja baru, aku berpeluang jalan-jalan satu Malaysia, berpeluang kembali semula ke Miri, tempat aku membesar selama 11 tahun. Syukur sangat dengan rezeki ini.  Rezeki paling tak disangka, bila MSQH bawa semua pekerja jalan-jal...

Assalamualaikum. I'm writing again, exactly a month after my previous post. 31 years old and 15 days. Still going on steady and strong despite the reality of nearly becoming a zombie. Haha. Today is the last day of working before starting our 3 days Chinese New Year holiday. Please welcome me back, oh my bed. Been missing you for quite some time now. Before going off from work, we had our appraisal session with the big boss. Ouh. And that was fun. Haha. In 8 days plus minus, mark my 1 year working here. It's been one great of a journey, able to catch a visit to 10 hospitals within this one year. The memorable journey, I guess were the one in Penang and Sabah. I told my big boss, I've learned a lot through this journey and my interest towards healthcare management and quality healthcare has become deeper. Big boss was suggesting for me to take up fellowship course, hmm, still thinking about it. It's great for professional development but the commitment it requir...

Assalamualaikum. I wonder if this blog still has its regular visitors like it used to be, once upon a time. Haha. You never write a thing what, the last one would be in December, what do you expect Farhana? Heh! In just a blink of an eye, we already got passed half of January, 2018. I repeat, 2018! Haha. And in just a few days, the number 30 will proudly jump to 31. To make it more special, 31 years old on 31st of January. Well, I bet people will get this date to get married, right people? Haha. At the age of 31, what have I achieved? Hmmm. In term of carrier, I have been in this field nearly a year, venturing from clinical medicine into quality healthcare system is something different in total. But, what I can say, I love this newly gained experiences. It changes me a lot, personality wise, interaction with people, I became braver than before. But still a shy girl. Haha. My plan is to develop myself more in this field, to become an expertise on it. Thinking of furthering ...

Assalamualaikum. After so long of not writing anything in this, finally I got the feels and needs to write something. To let it all out. It's 12.30 in the morning. Sleepy but my fingers are actively typing, non-stop. Do you have paranoia? I never knew that I have this feeling, scared, paranoid, anxious as I am not this kind of person if you met me a few years back. I guess there are life events that could change your way of thinking, your confidence, how you carry yourself. I'm scared. I don't know why, but I hate myself for having a feeling like this. The negative thoughts always flood my mind. Heh. Lets say someone like me, and I reciprocate, the way they pursue you, you will got that negative thought like "if he can pursue you this way, he may already done it a few hundred times with other girls. If he can care for you in such a way that you may fall in love with him, he may do the same to other girl who will fall for him too." I hate t...